" Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?" Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me.A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife."You come to the front door of the apartment building. I am in apartment 3-1There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 3-1. I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out,I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?" Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?"What, You're coming empty handed?"An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to. Peggy was busy entertaining the young graduates and I was busy keeping her mom and dad happy so they would ignore her.The k**s were all around the keg. I had taken all the guys keys from them and made sure that anyone needing a ride hm was either not drunk, or I drove them.as the party wore on and most of the adult guests left, I helped clean up and told her mom and dad to relax and if they wanted to go to bed I would be responsible for watching over the k**s. there were about 15 k**s left. 5 couples and her brother and four guys.As the couples began leaving I gave keys to the sober girls and asked if they would be willing to drive some of the guys home. This took all but tom and his best friend that lived next door. Tom asked if we could go to our house and swim in our pool. Peggy had mentioned that Ray was feeling her up and kissing her for the last few hours. I told them it was time for us to go take a dip.Peg and ray were making out in the back seat. Tom was turned sideways in.
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